Love and Relationship (2014)
(opening talk in a retreat focusing on "Love or Relationship")
First of all: I am a relationshipper ;-). Choicelessly. It was or is simply so. Relationship was my path and relating still is my path in sharing with my beloved and others around me.
Ultimately it does not matter for realisation or liberation whether or not you have many or no so called relationships. It is a question what type you are. And also how daring and open you are to experience the fullness of the human experience.
At some point we all find out that love cannot be done and is very contradictory. Love needs two people ... to learn to be one ... and in the end with great luck becoming love itself.
Whenever there are two poles, there is also separation and that feels painful.
As long as one thinks of oneself as a "somebody", as a separate entity there will be a relation to ANY object which appears in one's perception, whether that is a "thought object", a "feeling object" or a "love object".
The attachment in us is to perceive oneself as separate. That is what we know. Then we try to get from "the other" anything which can alleviate the pain of this separation.
This is the misconception.
Every relationship is an invitation, a challenge to look more closely: who am I really? Who is this alleged somebody who "has the relationship"? AND ALSO: Who is "the other?"
In moments of love there is no other ...
We are both: two individuals and oneness as we are both: mind with thinking and presence as silence
Sharing the humbling challenges of being together in the human experience can invite real intimacy. What it needs is space. Space happens in openness of mind and heart leading to expressions of personal honesty with ease.
Let me know your experience?!